Encouraging Words

I wrote this post in my head as I went to sleep last night.  Sadly, when I woke up, I forgot most of it.  Which is a shame, the one I composed in my head was perfectly brilliant...guess this one will have to do.  :o)


I've been thinking a lot lately about Encouragement.  I've always THRIVED on words of affirmation.  Top of my list of ways I feel loved.   Everyone needs encouragement and praise from time to time, more importantly we MUST make sure we encourage those close to us.  Husbands REALLY need that from their wives, as do children.  It is vital they feel that they are needed/wanted, appreciated.  So with that said, you would think I'd never forget...


We have been dealing with chicken pox around here.  Only 2 of our crew have ever had it before, Hubby and I both had it when children.  So 5 out of our 8 got it, including baby boy but only slightly due to nursing still so he probably will get it again.  Only one (a twin) remained totally untouched.  Hoping he got it from his sibs, we'll see in a few more days :o) Our oldest boy because he is 13 just really poxed out, between toes and everything....OUCH!   Everyone is almost healed now, but I admit I've been so used to certain ones looking so spotty that today they just looked ODD...then I realized, oh, yeah, the spots are fading!  They are returning to normal selves!   


I'm not sure how it is in your house, but here when we have sick ones, things sort of fall apart, tempers are shorter and lots of cranky pants!  Even worse when most or all of them are sick!  I especially noticed that a certain child, one most like me, more sensitive, and normally encouraging, really helpful with again normally a CHEERFUL heart had become quite grumpy.  Bad enough I was having to correct for attitude as this was just not like her and just seemed to get worse.  Why the sudden change?  She KNEW I needed help, felt better than everyone else...what's wrong?  That's when it hit me, like a ton of bricks.  I had just gotten some wonderful words of encouragement that left me feeling useful and needed, and here for days I had forgotten the same is true with children.  Such a simple rule really with children....PRAISE, lots and LOTS of PRAISE will go soooo far with a child!  <slap to forehead>  Why, of COURSE, they are grumpy, they have heard, "help here", "do this", token thanks but no real true praise...especially my hardest worker.


In my own stress of caring for sick children, and pregnancy blahs/exhaustion, several sleepless nights with a child with pains, I had not been encouraging my children when they really went above and beyond to help me and their younger siblings.  My oldest was fine, she had had it before and was feeling well, just a little tired.  #3 had it before too, but had lost sleep from going over and beyond to help me and just tired.  My other helpers were not only sick, but needed on most days to still do their basic chores (like feed pets), except the worst days, and those couple of days when my crew were sickest ALL the chores fell on just 2 shoulders (while Mom was nurse to the sick ones).  We ALL needed sleep.


I realized I had been focusing on the wrong thing!  Wrong attitude/grumpiness while an issue that does need to be addressed, wasn't the core issue this time...I had failed to acknowledge the awesome job they were doing, the indispensable help they had been.  If you don't praise the good parts, especially when times are TOUGH, well, you can't honestly expect it to stay good.  I've tried to train them to be thankful for the little things.  So, when they do thank me for a meal or a special treat, I've always told them "Thank you for being grateful.  I love it when you have a thankful heart."  Oh, my heart was pricked.  I had NOT shown them MY grateful, thankful heart.  I had just aggravated the grumpiness.  They had been doing wonderful until they just ran out of fuel...I know I do the same.   


So when I started praising for all they had been doing (even the little things), and all the help despite the not feeling well, and just smiling/hugging everyone it really turned the house around.  Funny how something so little...can make a huge impact.  I have always known this of course, but I am human.  I may want to be perfect, but I am soooo far from that!  Remembering to catch them being good when times are rough is something I need to work on right now!


Lord, help me to encourage "the least of these" so they not only truly feel love/appreciated but so they may also learn to encourage others as they grow up to serve You.  May I always be mindful of not only my children, but also my husband, family and friends to always encourage them as needed.  I really do appreciate all that they do and I appreciate the love and the reminders you give me.  Amen.


So, how are things in your house?   Is there anyone needing an encouraging word?  Praise?  Hug?  It's the little things....    Let's all remember to spread some encouragement daily!  Our children (and spouses) THRIVE on it!